Sunday, April 4, 2010

Skeletons in the Ammo Closet

As some of you know, Team Evelev is temporarily out of commission. Last Friday, Brian had surgery to untether his spinal cord (don’t ask me how that happens) and remove tumors and scar tissue. His recovery is almost on-schedule, though we were a bit delayed by a spinal fluid leak (ick, I know...) Today, he was cleared to start moving around, but walking is a challenge. On his last day in the hospital, I think we’ll get him in a wheel chair and try to grab the mutli cache here. I can see the starting coordinates from his window.

So, if you were hoping to read about my caching escapades this week, I am sorry to disappoint. I do, however, have a little piece I started working on a few weeks ago. It’s been waiting for a weekend such as this.

A few weeks ago, I was dozing off on the couch, when I heard, "You found my cache?" One eye popped open. "I knew it!" I yelled at the TV, "I knew that ammo can was a cache!"

I don't watch The Forgotten. In fact, I avoid all things Christian Slater. It just so happened that Lost had ended moments before. I really needed to go to bed, so I didn't change the channel, but I didn’t get off the couch, either. Enter Mr. Slater, and his widow’s peak.

It starts like all other prime-time-crime-dramas. Two teens, sneaking off into the woods (presumably to do what teens-in-the-woods do) trip over an enormous ammo can marked EXPLOSIVES. Being the good citizens that they are, they put their necking on-hold to report this to the authorities. A bomb-probing robot cautiously opens the ammo can to reveal...gasp! Bones.

Slater’s character rushes to the scene, and here we find out that these bones could be those of his missing daughter. Go ahead, gasp again. The detectives inventory the can, which includes a rubber band ball, a ladybug key chain, and some puzzles, which are presumed to be clues to the identity of the killer.

They trace the cache back to a young teen, who informs the detectives that they found a globocache. Soon after, we find out that the ladybug is actually a trackable hopper. The detectives find themselves at a globocaching event. You know, to look for clues. It is here that globocachers prove just how cool they are, by dressing in animal costumes. A giraffe, dog, macaw, skunk, and pink hippopotamus were all in attendance. The detectives track down the hopper’s owner, who pitches a hissy fit when they inform her that the hopper won’t be hopping. Excuse me, Miss, it’s part of a murrrrder investigation.

Good detective-work leads them to a suspect: a good geocacher with a bad attitude. Oooo. I really wanted to link a video, but ABC makes that tough. If you have a spare moment and need a good laugh, go to The Forgotten’s website, wait for the video to load, then click “More Videos” (lower left), and then select the one titled “Good Night Moment 3/9.”

After that, the crew completes a platinum cache, which is sort of a multi and mystery cache combo placed for them by the killer. They get up to all kinds of detective-based mischief and solve the crime, blah blah blah. Anyway, the show sucks and I will never watch another episode, but this particular one was pretty funny. I don’t think they meant it that way though. Well, maybe ABC thought it would be funny, Mr. Slater – not so much.

In all seriousness, geocachers do find human remains occasionally. It's not usually this funny, though. Or maybe it is. I'll let you know when it happens.

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