Sunday, December 20, 2009

Cache Apathy

If you've found any caches in Seminole county over the last week, you may want to wash your hands (and your lungs). In addition to leaving my mark on the logs, I probably left some congestion-inducing cold germs. You will know you've been caching behind me if you feel like your head has been filled with cement and your chest is lined with wool. Next time you exclaim "found it!" you may look around for a geomocking hobo, only to find the gravelly smoker-esque voice is your own.

You will be most-shocked by the one symptom you can't treat with NyQuil: Cache apathy. Over the past week I've turned into an incredibly lazy, muggle-paranoid geocacher. I have the desire to look for caches, but I get out there and I just don't care. I walk away after only minutes. Those of you that cache with me know that's not my style.

Example: This cache in South Carolina. Four of us picked through the trees in the dark for over an hour.

I grabbed three today, but I gave up on four others. And two of the three I grabbed were of the platitudinous variety. If you're not familiar with platitudinous caches, it's a series by legendary cachers War1man & Mimi. The pair is infamous for hiding the most devastatingly devious caches in Central Florida and finding everyone else's the moment they are posted. I suppose the platitudinous series is an attempt to balance out their karma. Platitudinous means "without freshness or appeal because of overuse." In other words, they're super easy. Number padding at it's best.

I actually drove by a few caches today because I just didn't feel like expending the effort. At one in particular, I slowed down the car, figured out I would have to walk about 50 feet to the cache, and kept driving. Seriously. At another, I pulled into a parking lot and a little tuxedo cat jumped out in front of me. Actually, it was less jumping and more sauntering. Then I drove around the parking lot and found him with a veritable coven of cat-friends, who took a moment to practice yoga in front my car. "Not meant to be" I mumbled, and drove away.

Leander demonstrates kitteh-corpse pose.

Here's another example of how off-my-game I am. A few days ago our dear friend EyeoftheSeeker posted a cache at the end of my street - a full 3/10 of a mile away from where I sit at this moment. And for the first time in nearly a year, I went three whole hours without checking my email. I nealy spit out my Nyquil when I realized the cache had been posted. I had just gotten out of the shower and was in my pajamas, but I threw on a pair of slippers, grabbed my wicked new flashlight and headed out the door. I arrived at the location to find another cacher lurking in the trees, barefoot. Been there. Took us a while to hone in on the actual location, but eventually I found the cache. My only victory of the week was squashed by the realization that War1man & Mimi and had been there first. A cache gets posted while I'm at home, less than half a mile away, and I still couldn't get an FTF. Jeez.

Hopefully I get this funk out of my system soon. Brian and I are headed up to Panama City for Christmas to see family (among them, PNutHed, my dad). I'm looking forward to some fresh caching territory and, you know, Christmas cheer.

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